The Voice




When I was in high school I had a buddy named Trent who was such a fan of the comedian George Carlin that his mom bought him a copy of the record “Class Clown” for Christmas one year.  Trent had the damn thing memorized.  I never knew anyone who had a comedy record before and frankly,  I thought it was a little weird.  I remember the first time he played “Class Clown” for me.  He mouthed all the words and watched me as if I was supposed to be impressed.  
“Poor pigeons, man. Their song is stuck in their throat.  That's what livin' in the city does, man. Sticks your song in your throat. I'm sure when the pigeons first got to the city, they had a nice song, man.   Few years in the city . . . (makes 'throat' pigeon sounds).”
It used to happen every year. I'd  feel like a million bucks through the summer and the beginning of the school year but by about mid October laryngitis would settle in and before I knew it my voice was gone. You just try talking over the top of thirty small people and you'd sound like Bon Scott by the end of a month or so too. It didn't hurt.  It's just when I tried to speak I couldn't get a sound to come out.  If I forced it, it was even worse. Then I'd sound like the devil, or a frog, or a frog devil and nobody wants a frog devil for a teacher.  

All these years later I still remember that Carlin bit.  I guess Trent and George had a point.  The laryngitis was temporary.  It always went away eventually.  But even though I’ve been out of the classroom for a while  now I’m still struggling to get my voice back.  I guess the city will do that to you, man . . .

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Fear the Squirrel

Image
Long before someone introduced Bango the Milwaukee Bucks mascot to steroids and we all learned to “fear the deer,” there was another equally ferocious character terrorizing the city’s north side.  Now I'm not saying I grew up in a sketchy part of town but apparently my grade school mascot was a mouse. Behold “The Mouse’s Roar,” my school newspaper from spring of 1976. A word of advice for parents:  if you’re looking into schools for junior you may want to inquire about the mascot.  If it’s a mouse, vole, rat, or any other potentially Black Plague/hantavirus spreading mammal just move on.  Your kids will thank you for it. My high school mascot wasn't much better.  I attended Custer High School (now Barack Obama Academy) home of the Custer Indians.  The school wasn't actually named after George Armstrong Custer of the infamous Little Big Horn massacre.  It was named for a different Custer. I'm not sure what the Indians did to him. Apparent...
Read more

Dead Man's Flats

Image
When I was trying to describe where we stayed in the Rockies I came up with two approaches.  I called them the “castle” and the “Titanic” analogies.  Banff is a beautiful town situated inside a Canadian national park. Because it’s inside the park there are restrictions limiting the lodgings options and driving up the price.  Banff can be VERY expensive.  It’s a place to see and be seen.  Banff is a little like staying in the king’s castle. Canmore is just a few miles away.  It too is surrounded by majestic mountains, but because Canmore is outside of the national park it has been able to capitalize on its proximity and cater to the needs of the masses who make the pilgrimage to the parks every year. Staying in Canmore is like staying in the village - still nice with great views of the castle -  just less expensive and less exclusive. We stayed just outside of a “hamlet” with the less than glamorous name of Dead Man’s Flats. Our little ham...
Read more

Hagenisms

Image
The following list of quotations was compiled in the PG era (pre Google). It's also pre-meme and pre-facebook. They're part of a collection I've been hoarding for years. These days you can't scroll through your social media feed without stumbling over someone trying to sell you on their meaning of life neatly encapsulated in a little hallmark card of profundity. Cat pic + Ben Franklin quip = Wisdom. Baby pic + MLK quote = I"m tolerant. Bald eagle swaddled with a flag flying + pledge of allegiance text = I'm more patriotic than you, wanna fight about it? It reminds me of words Kennedy spoke in 1962 at a dinner honoring a group of Nobel Prize winners, " I think this is the most extraordinary collection of talent, of human knowledge, that has ever been gathered at the White House - with the possible exception of when Thomas  Jefferson dined alone ." I hope you enjoy the collection but take your time.  Give each thought the re...
Read more