"A Ringside Seat to the Devolution"

I saw a tv show years ago highlighting people with some mental illness that forces them to swallow objects compulsively.  Doctors found balls of hair, bobby pins, pens, pencils, etc.lodged in the patients' digestive system that could be life threatening and often had to be surgically removed.  Last year’s presidential election left me feeling like I'd been fed such a toxic mix of bullshit I'd choke on it; or like a canary in a coalmine:  the methane produced from all the bullshit just got to me sooner and affected me worse than it did others. There's still an awful lot left inside me but at least this first offering has relieved some of the pressure.  I chose to name it “A Ringside Seat to the Devolution.”  

------------------------------------------------------

“I wish everybody’d just get over it,” the other woman complained to no one in particular.  My wife was having a conversation with the people at her hair salon when another customer chimed in.  I wasn't there to see what struck a nerve but something clearly did.  The NFL’s latest controversy over race and patriotism had been eclipsed by the nation's deadliest mass shooting just days before.  I'm guessing she would have preferred gossip about her favorite reality show instead.  Maybe the Real Housewives of Whitefish Bay?  Who could blame her . . .”

“Like an acupuncturist using railroad spikes, he’s trying to hit a nerve.”

“Give him enough rope and he’ll braid it into a noose . . .”

“If you chum the water long enough the bottom feeders always rise . . .”

“MAGA,  bitch and other vulgarities carved into the door of a bathroom stall. . .”

“Writing can be a little like shitting out a tapeworm:  sometimes if you're lucky it'll all come out in one sitting but more often you have to squeeze it out one small piece at a time . . .”

“. . . tug of war with each side throwing salt at the other while the people in the middle cover their eyes and pray for the chaos to stop . . .”

“The eye of the shitstorm passed . . . then slammed again with wave after wave: Charlottesville, Korea,  Harvey, Irma, Maria . . . and how do you solve a problem like Maria?”

Serious Black

So this young revolutionary must have done something terrible.  Took a dump in the lap of the Lincoln Memorial? No.  Spray painted mustaches on Mount Rushmore? No. Tire fire on the interstate? No. Church bombing? No. He’s been kneeling when he was supposed to be standing. At football games. During the national anthem.

Now I've been to a game or two myself, and I know how that works. If you're  at a tailgate party chances are a good a number of people will be taking a leak in the parking lot  when the song comes on. If you're at a bar they're sprinting to the bathroom or ordering one last beer before the kick off. And if they’re at home it's likely they’re either in the kitchen putting the finishing touches on their taco salad or if by some fluke they’re actually in front of the tv they're probably sitting on the couch  wondering if the celebrity soloist can hit the high notes as well as Whitney Houston did (they never do).  This wasn't an issue until it was manufactured.  Now we have the veep protesting the protest.  Well, I'm protesting his decision to protest the protest.  Ain't that america - lowercase intended.  Tom Petty died recently but petty is alive and well . . .

“I figured it would take  Voldemort or Dr. Evil to get fans to turn against the NFL.   Turns out all you have to do in great again America is kneel  . . .”

Great Again America! Great!  We just need blue hats now.  GAAG!

“The fact that you’re  burning bridges instead of crosses doesn't make it any less dangerous.”

“The democracy of fb and Twitter:   put the Dali Lama right next to the guy who communicates w/ poo emojis . . .”

“Think about the legacy you're going to leave.  Will you be remembered as someone who was determined to try and make things better, to communicate passionately but honestly, or someone who left an endless trail of skid marks?”

Today’s politics:  “like a cross town rivalry where nobody ever really wins. . .”

The Escalator in chief. . . .

My greatest fear is that he learned the wrong lesson from Reagan:  an arms race bankrupted the Soviet Union and led to its collapse.  Even if it did, which is debatable, you can't win EVERY argument by escalating it.  He claims to be a builder but his toolbox only contains an assortment of old hammers.  . .”

 

“Can you imagine Washington or Lincoln suggesting that they alone had the answers?”