Waiting for James



Image result for majestic eagleMy wife loves games. Pool, darts, bean bag toss. She'll play solitaire for hours if there's nobody to play with her.  But I think her favorite games of all are slot machines. So a couple years back we booked a night at the Ho-Chunk Casino in Wisconsin Dells.  I’m cheap so it’s not easy for me to burn through money like that for fun, but after a Captain and Coke or three the Captain usually convinces me to loosen up - and I usually listen.
We got to the hotel, checked into our room, made ourselves a couple of drinks and headed over to play.  We stayed together for a while but eventually I got distracted and headed off on my own drink in hand.  I’m wandering around aimlessly not paying attention, just feeding the machines.  In my Captain addled state I stumbled across a Native American themed game which seemed  appropriate since we were at an Indian casino.  I slid my ticket in and started playing.  I'd only pushed the button a few times before my machine let out an unmistakable sound:  an eagle’s cry.  
The shrieking eagle was followed by thundering drums and the unmistakable booming voice of James Earl Jones - which even at the time I thought was a little funny  - isn't he black? Anyway, after James told me my quest was a success the machine went on autopilot - bells, whistles, lights, then it started to tally my winnings.  I was  waiting to see actual eagles flying out of the top of the machine as I stood there half dazed and amazed at the show while James boomed like the Great and Powerful Oz.

Fast forward to this past summer and things have changed dramatically. I'm out of work, eating through most of our savings and Jenny's looking to me for a plan. She asked what's next. I brought up our last vacation. Before I quit teaching she booked two weeks out west through her family's timeshare.  Glacier Park and the Canadian Rockies.  It was incredible! The trip of a lifetime.  I knew it might be our last vacation together for a long time, and almost certainly Our Last Summer off together.  You never know what the future brings.  

I told her I thought that at some point during that trip I'd have a moment of clarity where I understood what I was supposed to do next. I always thought of teaching as a sort of calling, I said, and I hoped something else would call me.  Maybe we'd be on some mountaintop and it would come to me like a revelation, my own James Earl Jones moment, or maybe just a whisper in the breeze that told me what my path should be going forward. It never came.  I had many moments of jaw dropping  amazement and wonder.  It was perhaps the best trip we’ve ever taken, but I came back not knowing any more than when we left, and in a way I guess I'm still waiting, waiting for James . . .

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