Obit.



My wife and I have been going on my family canoe trip since before we got married.  So I'm not sure how she convinced me this year that it would be a good idea to scrap that annual event in favor of a road trip to the Mary Kay convention in Dallas, Texas.


I love road trips. She knows that. She was going either way. The room was already paid for whether I was going or not. I could bring my bike. And I'd never been to Dallas before. Still…
In the weeks leading up to the trip I had to tell my brothers that Jenny and I’d have to bow out because we were traveling to Dallas instead of canoeing. I didn't advertise the reason for the change of plans, but what could anybody say? My brother Steve and his wife skip the canoe trip every other year to go to Sturgis for Bike Week. Totally the same thing, right? Right?
Anyway, Dallas is a long way from Milwaukee but Jenny was right, I really do love a road trip.   We drove through Illinois, Missouri and Oklahoma. By Monday afternoon we saw the sign welcoming us into the great state of Texas and minutes later I saw another very . . . different sign.
I'm sure every state has it's own way of honoring patriots, native sons and local heroes. Milwaukee has Jefferson Street, Lincoln Memorial Drive and Grant Park.  Not to be outdone Texas has tried the same thing using one of its own local heroes.  As we sped on  toward Dallas a sign let us know that we were traveling on the Buck Owens Memorial Highway. If you didn't grow up in the 70s watching the country music TV show “Hee Haw” you may have never heard of Buck Owens.  Picture a cross between Liberace and the Marlboro man.  
I cracked one joke, followed by another, and another.  I thought I was pretty damn funny until a car came barreling down the on ramp so fast Jenny nearly locked up the breaks on the freeway.  Sarcasm was replaced by a loud “holy shit,” a “motherf@#$%” or two.  After catching our breath we fell silent so she could focus on the road.  
A few minutes later she heard me let out a snicker.  “What's so funny?”  she asked.  “Nothing,” I said.  “Just thinking about the close call back there.”
“So why is that so funny?”

“It could have made for a terrible obituary:  Milwaukee Man Killed on Buck Owens Highway on his way to Mary Kay Convention.”

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